Advaita or Nondualism

I have had a lot of ESP experiences, even though I don't pursue ESP. This blog was a good way for me to write of these experiences. Recently, however, I have become fascinated by Advaita or Nondualism and have been writing about this subject.

Monday, May 30, 2005

Are Thoughts Things?

You said,
Thoughts are Things
Everything that Happens
Is because of your Thoughts
If you develop Cancer
It’s because of your Thoughts

I said,
Maybe or maybe not
Some saints developed Cancer
And it wasn’t because of their Thoughts

You said,
If a saint developed Cancer
It probably was because of Thought

I said,
Maybe or maybe not
It’s possible that bad things happen
To good people
And it has nothing to do with Thoughts

You said,
If you were more Spiritual
You would see
Everything comes from Thought

I said,
Maybe or maybe not
If I get Cancer
I’ll tell the doctor to cut it out
And I’ll take chemo
And that’s that
I’ll get back to my life

You said,
The things that happened to you
Are because you are not in touch
With your Thoughts

I said,
Maybe I am or not in touch
With my Thoughts
You live your life
And I’ll live mine

Saturday, May 28, 2005

Canceled: God, President, and Dreams

I am sorry; I do not get it. Experts said President Bush won reelection because of the God and Family Value issue. But at the same time, television programs with God and Family Values were canceled.

Among those canceled:

Joan of Arcadia: God appears to a high school student. Maybe people do not like the fact that this show says God can speak to regular people, without going through an intermediary, such as a priest or a minister.

Jack and Bobbie: tells about the high school struggles of a future president. It is about the struggle of a single-family home. The mother is a liberal, while the future president becomes a Republican. Maybe people do not like to think of future presidents as coming from single-family homes or being raised by liberal mothers.

American Dreams: basically was a family show set in the 1960’s and covered issues such as Civil Rights and Vietnam. Maybe people do not like family shows to cover meaningful issues.

If you do not like to think and you do not like shows about God and issues, we always have the reality shows, such as American Idol, The Apprentice, Fear Factor, The Nanny, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, The Mole, Wife Swap, Survivor, Big Brother, Average Joe, The Contender, America’s Next Model, Anna Nicole Show, etc.

Sunday, May 22, 2005

A visitor at night

You came to me in the Mist
In the Twilight
Between Awake and Asleep
I saw you first as a small ball of light
As you got closer
The ball of light got bigger and bigger
You were responding to my cry that night
Confused, my Soul cried out,
“How will I ever find God?”
As you approached me
Somehow I knew who you were
A saint I had been reading about
Appearing to me as a ball of light
Somehow you communicated who you were
Then you spoke to my confusion
You will not find God through books
You told me
Then you said,

"We should speak in the language of Heaven
In the language of Spirit
For there is a language of the Spirit and Heart.
It is as different from our language as our own language is different
From that of the animals
Who express themselves only by cries and sounds.

"It is the language of the Spirit which speaks to God.
When, in prayer we are freed from all outward things
And turn to God
Then it is as if in our Hearts
We hear the voice of God.
Without words we speak
We communicate
We converse with God and hear the answer."

After you spoke these words
Your light began to move away
Until I watched it disappear entirely
Then I decided to go to sleep
I awoke with a sense of Joy
A couple of weeks later
I was reading a book
Which had a quote from you
It was the same words
That you spoke that night

Saturday, May 21, 2005

I am waiting to be free

My car was at a stop sign
When I heard a voice say
“I am waiting to be free”
I was living an in-between life
Too much stuff to do at work
Too little time at home to do all
the housework
Retirement was still five years away
I am waiting to be free
What is freedom? I asked myself
Is it not a state of mind?
Why was I waiting to be free?
Why did I not trust God/Sprit more?
Where was my faith?
Living an in-between life
Is not a place to be

Wednesday, May 18, 2005

A New God

Like a moth compelled to fly towards the light
I cannot help but to be attracted to the light of God
My fundamental church and I made an agreement
The church would show me its exclusive way to God
I agreed to follow all of the church’s doctrines
But something was wrong
Somehow I could not live up to the agreement
I felt shame and guilt and felt I was a bad person
I felt like I was not good enough for God
Then a best selling book came out
It explained what was wrong with the church
It’s not you, the book exclaimed, it’s the church
Things started to make sense
My reluctance was not with God but with church doctrine
I decided to leave the church
I was conflicted
Feeling joy and fear at the same time
I walked by a pond
Where I saw turtle eggs that had been broken
The baby turtles were free
I felt that I had also broken through a shell
But did not know where I was heading
Now, I had to decide for myself
What I believed
I had to question what I thought of God
I looked at everything with new eyes
I felt free but burdened at the same time
For the first time I had to find out
Where I stood on many issues
Without doctrines to show me the way
Over the years, I have found myself
Resistant to others telling me the way to God
At the same time I felt envy
For those who felt the church is home
Who had fellowship and believed
In the exclusive way to God
I am a nomad pitching my tent
Traveling the desert alone
Praying silently in my heart
To a new God not needing doctrines
Along the way
I have received signs
Pointing the Way
But my journey is my journey
Your journey your journey
I do not expect anything from you
And please
Do not expect anything from me
Let’s just love each other
The way we are

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

Sensitive Or Not?

In my comments in discussion groups and in my responses in my blog, I have hurt some people’s feelings. I see myself as trying to be sensitive but now I wonder from some of the comments I have received if I really am.

For example, in a discussion group, someone responded that his/her answer was Jesus. I sort of snapped at the person and told him/her in what I thought was a nice way that his/her way was not for everyone. The person responded that this was not his/her message. I apologized for my snap reaction. I have a good friend who is a born again Christian and tries to tell me that there is only one way to God — through Jesus.

This is not what the person in the discussion was talking about. My personal prejudice towards my friend’s attitude I placed on the other person’s comments. Which was not what the person was trying to communicate. The person was talking about a legitimate religious experience he/she had when he/she gave his/her heart to Jesus.

I have tried to have as a theme for this blog to write about my true experiences. I felt badly when I misinterpreted someone’s true experience as preaching about one way of approaching God.

I got blasted by someone else who suggested that I read an Indian guru’s writing. I shared with this person what I had found out about this guru — that he slept around with other friends’ wives. How can he be “spiritual” when acting “non spiritual?” The woman blasted me about my expectations being too high and putting people on pedestals. She thought I was one of these people who look for dirt on others, and that I would never be happy unless I accepted people as both good and bad.

While I acknowledged that such a supposed spiritual person could help others by their writings, I believe that it is important to look into the backgrounds of gurus and others we would follow. I was not sharing the negative about this guru to find dirt but to warn her and others that to be careful who you follow.

I do put spiritual gurus on a pedestal. I do expect them to be better than me. I could not write books or preach or guide others unless I believed in my whole heart that what I am doing is following Spirit/God. Is it possible for those who are not living their lives up to Spirit/God’s standards to write spiritual books? I believe God has used others who did Evil things, such as David and Paul, and turned their lives around for Good.

Another comment that gets me in hot water is that I do not believe disease is always caused by the way we think. I think sometimes bad things happen to good people. Sometimes saintly people get cancer. I have been taken to task by saying things like this. That I am not really in touch with my feelings — if I were, I would see that we create the universe we live in.

I have been so rude as to suggest that if you get cancer all you need to do is have surgery to cut it out and then undergo chemotherapy. Hopefully, this will be enough to get rid of your cancer. This has horrified some who say that everything happens for a reason; and if I were more spiritual, I would see this.

I do try to be spiritual as much as I can. I do pray. I do say affirmations everyday:

Let me be happy.
Let me be healthy.
Let me be open to God and Spirit
Let my work be spiritual
Etc.

I am constantly reading spiritual books. I subscribe to spiritual magazines. At the same time, I recognize when all told I am not in charge of my life — God is. I take responsibility for raising my children right, for being a good and faithful husband, for being a hard worker, and for helping those who need help.

At the same time, as we have seen, positive thinking did not save those who worked in Oklahoma City or the World Trade Center, did not help those who have died in hurricanes, tornadoes, tidal waves, or car and plane crashes.

I believe that to be spiritual is to believe strongly in God/Spirit despite bad things happening around you and bad things that may happen to you. If I develop cancer, I will not judge myself as causing it, but consider it as another way to grow in my spirit. I believe God/Spirit is always with us, in good times and bad times. I will continue to believe in God/Spirit, despite the bad thing happening to me. Until the day when I am reunited with God/Spirit.

One last thing that may upset people. In some of my comments, I seem to attract opposites. I receive comments from those who believe that Jesus is the only way for everyone. I also receive comments from others, promoting Spiritualism as being the answer.