God and Pain

I am the kind of person who prays constantly to an Unknown God. That’s just the type of person I am. I learned a little bit more about myself through a painful journey.

At work, we had a mass mailing. I carried several trays of mail one-by-one. The tray did not weigh very much, but I carried them a long distance. I carried several of these trays that day.

A week earlier my daughter was in a horrific car accident. She was at a standstill along with other cars on a highway, since there was an accident up ahead. She drives a 1995 Honda Civic. She was on the cell phone when an SUV rammed into her car. The SUV was going around 50 miles an hour.

I got a cell call from my daughter, who told me that she was bleeding and about the accident. She said an ambulance was on its way to take her to the hospital. She thought she was okay. When the SUV hit her, it broke her seat, and she found herself lying flat.

The bottom line was she was okay, although her car was totaled. We looked together for a replacement car and after a week found one.

I tell you about my daughter to lay out all the facts. The day after the mass mailing, I awoke the next day in tremendous pain, mostly on my left side from back to my leg. I could barely move, but did so in pain. I could not bend down on sit down — the pain was unbearable. I still went to work the next day.

Fortunately, I had my six month appointment with my doctor the next day, so I made it through the day, knowing that I would be seeing him soon.

He diagnosed my pain as sciatica, a nerve that runs from your hip to your legs. He gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxer. When I took the pill, it made be sleepy and kind of zoned out.

The next day my computer hard drive died. I could no longer use my computer or go to the Internet. I took the computer to Best Buy to have another hard drive put in. They said they would try to save as many files, if possible.

When I picked up the computer, I was disappointed that they did not put the files on CDs, but instead installed them on the new hard drive under a folder called, “Old Hard Drive.” The folder turned out to be 4.6 gigabytes. The bottom line was that the folder caused so many conflicts with the programs that I tried to install that it took me around 10 hours or so to get the computer working again.

I digress to tell you about everything leading up to something I learned about myself. When the sciatica and the pain occurred, I found myself no longer talking to God. I do not know if it was because of the prescription or the pain I was experiencing.

I felt a need to get well again and concentrate on that. I now wonder if people who are hungry or in pain concentrate mostly on the hunger or their pain. That in order to think about God we need to be healthy first.
It was almost like all my energy was focused on healing myself or on concentrating on myself and the pain.

It has been a week now and the pain has lessened, and I am now more mobile. However, the pain is still present, and I will need to get more medical treatment, maybe a chiropractor.

I was just wondering if others have gone through a similar experience where your focus goes from God to your own healing.