A New God

Like a moth compelled to fly towards the light
I cannot help but to be attracted to the light of God
My fundamental church and I made an agreement
The church would show me its exclusive way to God
I agreed to follow all of the church’s doctrines
But something was wrong
Somehow I could not live up to the agreement
I felt shame and guilt and felt I was a bad person
I felt like I was not good enough for God
Then a best selling book came out
It explained what was wrong with the church
It’s not you, the book exclaimed, it’s the church
Things started to make sense
My reluctance was not with God but with church doctrine
I decided to leave the church
I was conflicted
Feeling joy and fear at the same time
I walked by a pond
Where I saw turtle eggs that had been broken
The baby turtles were free
I felt that I had also broken through a shell
But did not know where I was heading
Now, I had to decide for myself
What I believed
I had to question what I thought of God
I looked at everything with new eyes
I felt free but burdened at the same time
For the first time I had to find out
Where I stood on many issues
Without doctrines to show me the way
Over the years, I have found myself
Resistant to others telling me the way to God
At the same time I felt envy
For those who felt the church is home
Who had fellowship and believed
In the exclusive way to God
I am a nomad pitching my tent
Traveling the desert alone
Praying silently in my heart
To a new God not needing doctrines
Along the way
I have received signs
Pointing the Way
But my journey is my journey
Your journey your journey
I do not expect anything from you
And please
Do not expect anything from me
Let’s just love each other
The way we are