LOSING MY DESTINY
Disaster struck. I was laid off from a job that I thought was my vocation. When I was younger, I was interested in becoming a priest. When it became apparent that I was not suited for the priesthood, I still felt a burning desire to help others. In undergraduate school, I majored in Journalism and minored in Social Work. My Dad was a publisher of a weekly newspaper in the Boston area, and I liked to write. However, I was conflicted because that I did not believe that Journalism would satisfy by desire to help others. On the other hand, I did not think that Social Work was really a good vocation for me, either.
I was able to combine these two fields of interest by accepting a fellowship to Syracuse University’s Mental Health Information Program. The National Institute for Mental Health sponsored the program. The Institute was interested in recruiting Journalist majors into the mental health field to write about issues that affect the lives of people with mental illness. It felt like this was the niche that I was destined for.
I sent one year on campus and one year in the field, which turned out to be a large mental health institution in Jacksonville, Illinois. I was involved in public information for the institution, doing publications, such as newsletters, brochures, and so on. While I was working in Jacksonville, the director of the Illinois of Department of Mental Health paid a visit. He personally invited me to tour with him all the institutions in Illinois, which I did. He later offered me a state job, which I accepted.
Three and one-half years later, I found myself out of a job. A new governor came into office and abolished my office in Springfield. The governor was a devious sort and set up another office in Chicago. I could have fought the layoff and won legally, but who wants to work for someone who does not want you? The governor later went to jail on illegal dealings as CEO of a company where he worked before he became governor.
I was humiliated because I did not have a job. I applied for unemployment. When I went to the unemployment office, I was personally embarrassed. To add insult to injury, after I stood in line for a long time and made it up to a window, the bureaucratic clerk harassed me. “You’re not looking for work, are you?” she exclaimed. I told her that I sent out over 60 resumes all over the country; and that, yes, I was looking for work.
About the same time that I got laid off, my wife made the decision to leave nursing. She was a registered nurse at a hospital but did not like it, so she quit her job. I was not particularly happy with the timing of her decision. She ended up taking a part-time job for a human services agency at a much lesser salary.
As for me, I still hoped to work in a mental health setting, since I enjoyed the work and felt I was truly helping people. I still believe it was my niche — my destiny.
One day I had an amazing ESP experience involving my wife. I was thinking to myself, “I wonder what days she is working this week.” While I was thinking this, my wife answered out loud the days of the week she was working that week, as if she had heard my thoughts.
I had a painful physical experience that occurred shortly after the layoff. I convinced myself that I was okay with my wife leaving her job and that the layoff was a chance to find an even better job. I had convinced myself that I was spiritual and that I had faith. What I forgot to do was to tell this to my body.
My wife and I were over her parents’ house one day when I felt a tightness in my chest. It was there constantly and every time I breathed. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to see a doctor, who told me it was only nerves. The experience taught me that sometimes you may think you are fooling your mind with positive thoughts. However, you cannot fool your body — your guts — which knows what you are really thinking. The tightness in my chest taught me that I was not really in touch with my true feelings — that I was more concerned with my wife’s and my financial condition than I had thought.
One of the resumes struck gold about a year later, and I have been working in Michigan for the last 31 years. I never again had to go through the humiliating experience of being berratted by a clerk at an employment office. I will post information about my Michigan job interview later — it was both strange and funny.
I was able to combine these two fields of interest by accepting a fellowship to Syracuse University’s Mental Health Information Program. The National Institute for Mental Health sponsored the program. The Institute was interested in recruiting Journalist majors into the mental health field to write about issues that affect the lives of people with mental illness. It felt like this was the niche that I was destined for.
I sent one year on campus and one year in the field, which turned out to be a large mental health institution in Jacksonville, Illinois. I was involved in public information for the institution, doing publications, such as newsletters, brochures, and so on. While I was working in Jacksonville, the director of the Illinois of Department of Mental Health paid a visit. He personally invited me to tour with him all the institutions in Illinois, which I did. He later offered me a state job, which I accepted.
Three and one-half years later, I found myself out of a job. A new governor came into office and abolished my office in Springfield. The governor was a devious sort and set up another office in Chicago. I could have fought the layoff and won legally, but who wants to work for someone who does not want you? The governor later went to jail on illegal dealings as CEO of a company where he worked before he became governor.
I was humiliated because I did not have a job. I applied for unemployment. When I went to the unemployment office, I was personally embarrassed. To add insult to injury, after I stood in line for a long time and made it up to a window, the bureaucratic clerk harassed me. “You’re not looking for work, are you?” she exclaimed. I told her that I sent out over 60 resumes all over the country; and that, yes, I was looking for work.
About the same time that I got laid off, my wife made the decision to leave nursing. She was a registered nurse at a hospital but did not like it, so she quit her job. I was not particularly happy with the timing of her decision. She ended up taking a part-time job for a human services agency at a much lesser salary.
As for me, I still hoped to work in a mental health setting, since I enjoyed the work and felt I was truly helping people. I still believe it was my niche — my destiny.
One day I had an amazing ESP experience involving my wife. I was thinking to myself, “I wonder what days she is working this week.” While I was thinking this, my wife answered out loud the days of the week she was working that week, as if she had heard my thoughts.
I had a painful physical experience that occurred shortly after the layoff. I convinced myself that I was okay with my wife leaving her job and that the layoff was a chance to find an even better job. I had convinced myself that I was spiritual and that I had faith. What I forgot to do was to tell this to my body.
My wife and I were over her parents’ house one day when I felt a tightness in my chest. It was there constantly and every time I breathed. I thought I was having a heart attack. I went to see a doctor, who told me it was only nerves. The experience taught me that sometimes you may think you are fooling your mind with positive thoughts. However, you cannot fool your body — your guts — which knows what you are really thinking. The tightness in my chest taught me that I was not really in touch with my true feelings — that I was more concerned with my wife’s and my financial condition than I had thought.
One of the resumes struck gold about a year later, and I have been working in Michigan for the last 31 years. I never again had to go through the humiliating experience of being berratted by a clerk at an employment office. I will post information about my Michigan job interview later — it was both strange and funny.
posted by Brother Bob @ 11:49 AM
1 Comments:
At May 17, 2005 at 1:58 PM,
Anonymous said…
i think your writngs are interesting it reminds me of a similar story involving the same states and circumstances.and how it has affected my life and the other persons.would love to swap stories.
peace.
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