BAHA'I FAITH

I got interested in the Baha'i Faith. I can't recall what caused me to get involved. I remember that I had read some books on world religions, including a book by Marcus Bach which mentioned the Baha'i Faith and its prophet Bahaullah.

Part of the attraction was because some of the Baha'i beliefs appealed to me:
--the equality of women and all the races
--the miracle stories that surrounded its history
--the belief in world government and one universal language
--the parallels seemed believable between how Christianity and Beha'i religions began
--their belief in nonviolence
--their belief that science and religion were compatible and the fact that one could demand scientific proof of one's beliefs.

At the few meetings I attended, I was moved by the interracial marriages of some of the Baha'is attending the meetings. The lack of prejudice of the believers moved me.

But most moving were the Baha'i prayers. The beauty of the prayers struck a cord in my soul. Their prayers made God seem more real and more personal. The love of God in their prayers moved me on a deep level.

At one Baha'i function, there was a special speaker. A famous speaker, educator and writer of the movement. He was also 90 years old. We all had an opportunity to shake his hand. When it was my turn, he paused a moment and said, "You are entangled in the Baha'i Faith." His words were very accurate at the time and reflected my thinking at the time. I was, indeed, very attracted to the Faith and was entangled by it. It was obvious to me that he had some psychic abilities, and he was able to sense from my hand or aura what I was feeling.

In his presentation that evening, he told a special story of importance to him. It seemed that at one time he was entangled in a metaphysical group. Then something happened that changed everything. It seemed that at a meeting with one of the group's leaders, the leader chastised someone over a trivial matter. The presenter said he was appalled at the leader's attitude and started wondering about the true spirituality of the group. He eventually ended up leaving the group.

We were honored when we discovered that the Baha'i leader would be having a special outdoor meeting in the park. I went to that meeting with great anticipation. I felt that this man who had given me a special reading was quite remarkable, and I was looking forward to hearing what he had to say with excitement. He began to make his speech and a couple of minutes into it stopped. He then began to yell at one of the members who was smoking a cigarette. He said something close to, "What's wrong with you! Don't you know this is a spiritual meeting! Put out that cigarette immediately." Red faced, the young member did put out the cigarette.

I was stunned that he was so rude to the member. Tension filled the air. I felt sure that others were as embarrassed as I about his inappropriate handling of the situation. I thought it was so ironic that his previous talk about the rude leader echoed what I was witnessing.

I was greatly upset by the episode. I remember going to bed confused and wondering aloud about how I would ever know God. In the middle of the night I had a very strange experience. I was in some kind of alternate state of consciousness. I awoke in the middle of the night. I saw a light from a distance approach me. When the light came closer to me, I was shocked that I was able to know who it was -- it was Abdu'l-baha, the son of Bahaullah. I knew this wasn't a dream because I was incredulous at the time. I was asking myself questions to test myself. I did not understand how I was able to recognize the light as Abdu'l-baha. But there was no doubt in my mind. I knew it was, even though I only saw a light. It was as if his personality was so powerful that it had communicated who he was.

Then he began talking to me. He told me that I would not find God by reading books, but by experiencing God first hand. Then he said,

"We should speak in the language of heaven -- in the language of spirit -- for there is a language of the spirit and heart. It is as different from our language as our own language is different from that of the animals, who express themselves only by cries and sounds.

"It is the language of the spirit which speaks to God. When, in prayer, we are freed from all outward things and turn to God, then it is as if in our hearts we hear the voice of God. Without words we speak, we communicate, we converse with God and hear the answer."

After he had spoken, Abdu'l-baha's light began to move away -- until I watched it disappear entirely. Then I decided to go to sleep. When I awakened the next morning, I remember an unusual sense of joy that I had never felt since. This helped to confirm to me that I had a very unusual experience. Somehow the conversation during the night was the answer to confusion I was feeling when I went to bed.

A couple of weeks later, I was reading Bahaullah And The New Era, a book by J. E. Esslemont when I started to get goosebumps. In Chapter Six which was entitled, "Prayer," was the same words as above that Abdu'l-baha had spoken to me, word-for-word. This was the second confirmation for me. Reading more about Abdu'l-baha later on, I learned that there have been a number of unusual "special visits" by him to Baha'i members.

I eventually left the Baha'i Faith (even though I never officially was a member) because of a few things that I could not reconcile. I found that many of the members were not spiritual. Some had bizarre psychic beliefs. For some interracial couples, I felt that the Faith was more of a socially acceptable place to meet people than a devout belief in the Faith.

But the major reasons were connected to taking the challenge that they had thrown down. They would be able to answer any questions about the Faith I had. I had several questions at the time that no one could answer. First of all, no women were allowed in the Universal House of Justice which was strangely inconsistent in their belief in the inequality of the sexes; secondly, I could not understand why alcohol was forbidden and could not receive any answer.